Remembering Emily Faith

Exactly two years ago, a sweet baby girl came into the world too early and ten hours later left us too soon. Emily Faith you are missed.

Awake but Dreaming of You

It was a journey that began abruptly
A little warning with blood and contractions
But with hope that the Great Physician would
Take care of the precious life
That the Creator would sustain

I saw healing and restoration as I prayed
And thanked Him for His provision
Before it came
Trusting in His unending care

Anxiety as the flight took off
Carrying sister and child
Dear God, please help us
The only words

Thankfulness and respite
For a moment
As all seemed calm and well

Shock and fear
Emily Faith was born today
She survived

It’s a long journey
Thirty percent
four to eight months

Lord God, give us strength for this journey

Hope for healing
A strong heart beat
All her fingers and toes

Dear God, thank You for life

In a meeting
Phone vibrates
Shock, horror, grief, disbelief

“Emily did not make it”

Focus.  Where were we at?
Let’s continue
Let’s wrap this up

Feel the darkness coming
Trying to stave it off


Phone Rings


I um.

Point to phone
Room next door is empty

Sit on couch
Answer phone
Silence with shock and sobs

Barely speak
Hang up


I don’t understand

Walk to desk
Grab purse
Emily didn’t make it.
I’m leaving

Want to give a hug
But can’t

Can’t hold it together

An endless walk
To car and safety


Text prayer warriors


Parking lot
Like a movie
Sobbing on steering wheel

Oh God, How are we going to make it?
My family can’t handle this, too!


Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!


Why have you forsaken me?


Rocking sobs
Racking grief

Get out of car
Walk in building
Into elevator
Moving up

Phone Rings.




Emily is alive.


Is this a joke?






Oh, my God
On a sigh
Of thankfulness

Just think in twenty years,
We’ll tell how God
Miraculously brought her back to life

The little girl Jesus healed.

How great is our God.

Go to appointment
In shock
Can barely speak
Then can’t stop

Am I crazy?

My finite mind can’t keep up


All the juxtapositions of opposites

Hope soars
And blossoms
Into dreams

Talk to sister
Doing well

Long road

Should I come?

I don’t know

Do what you want.

Head to friends

Share my news

Hugs and love

Driving home

Return to work

Work, work, work.

Share story with a friend

Praying, praying, praying

Turn off computer

Phone vibrates


“Emily has passed away”


A second walk
To a distant car
That’s not really very far

Sit in darkness


A whispered
Oh, my God

Texted back

“So sorry. I love you.”

No words

Call friend

“Can I come over?”

“What happened?”

“She died.”



Can’t stay awake
Can’t go to sleep
Streaming tears

Oh, my God.

Visions of Emily
Safe in His arm

“Antie Krista
I love it here
I wish you were here
Can’t wait for you
To come”

She’s happy
And dancing
With sweet ‘lil ones
My friends have


“I’m glad you’re there
But I wish you were

I didn’t get to hold you
I wish I could”

I should have gone on Monday

But, I didn’t.

I trust God’s prompting
And His timing

But sweet, girl,
I wish I had touched you

Just a second
So I could remember
The feel of your little

The softness of your head
All ten toes.

My sweet, sweet niece
I love you more than I can say

You and Maddie.
I love
more than I ever thought I could

And you are gone

Never to be held in my arms.

I know someday I’ll hold you
I’ll hold you forever

I guess I’ll share you with your mommy
And daddy and everyone else

But I can’t wait to just hold you
Hold you and spin
And laugh with joy to
Just be with you

Sweet, precious Emily Faith
I’m so glad your parents named you

The perfect name.
For a perfect tiny

Ten hours

So short but long time

Ten hours and life has changed


The world’s axis has shifted

So tired
Can’t sleep

Tears streaming
But dreaming
Of you


You can read Emily’s story on my sister’s blog.

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