Overcoming roadblocks

I’m an independent, let me “do it myself” and “I’ll make it happen” kind of person. I tend to intuitively “get” what needs to get done and identify the most efficient way to get there. So when I hit an impediment that I can’t get around I get stuck. Really stuck. Like when there’s a scratch on a DVD and the same 5 seconds keep playing over and over. And just like scratches on my favorite movie it always seems to happen at the worst moment.

I affectionately refer to this as “breaking my brain.” Something short circuits and I can’t get it back on track. And I don’t handle the frustration well.

In the last few months I had an aha moment and realized that there are there is only one way out of this: ask for help. For me, asking for help is the equivalent of admitting that I’m a complete and utter failure. It seems like something that should be reserved for when the sky really is falling.

I also have to admit that the first draft of this blog included nothing about my extreme phobia of asking for help. It was going to be a nice, sweet “here’s the three types of roadblocks I typically hit on projects… and how to solve them.” The problem was that the first three words in all three roadblocks is “I need help with…” and, well, talking about asking for help without talking about the elephant in my living room seems a little ridiculous. So hopefully you won’t judge me too much for having an independent streak a mile wide!

Now that I’ve made my confession, I realize that the best solution for the three roadblocks I encounter is the most simple yet difficult thing: admit I can’t do it myself and ask someone else to help me.

So… without any more ado, here’s the thee types of roadblocks that throw me for a loop:

  1. I need help to get something from someone else (clarification, decisions, deliverables, approval, etc.).
  2. I need help getting a different perspective or attitude on a situation.
  3. I need help developing or improving a skill.

I honestly can’t think a single impediment from the last 7 years that doesn’t fit into one of these buckets.

Is there a three step solution for solving them? No. But now I’m finding that the more I attempt to get the words “I need help” out of my mouth the closer I get to actually saying it.

Giving out of poverty

What is it like to give everything you have left? Have I ever truly done that?

I’ve been asking myself this question for a few days. And not really about money but about my time and energy because that is the “currency” that I really value and when it’s running low I conserve instead of give.

This question started out with watching a video a friend posted on Facebook: All I Can Say by David Crowder Band. Something about these three lines have stuck with me: “And this is all that I can say right now / And this is all I have to give / that’s my everything.”

That triggered thoughts of the parable of the Widow’s Mite. This woman was commended by Jesus in Mark 21:41-44 and Luke 21:1-4 for giving the last cents that she owned while those around her gave out of their surplus.

In my opinion, giving out of surplus feels way better (and by better what I really mean is comfortable) than giving out of poverty. I know that God has called me to live sacrificially instead of comfortably. But gosh it’s hard.

 

Two steps to making decisions on projects

In project management decision-making is inevitable. In fact, I have come to think that project management is primarily about making sure the necessary decisions get made at the right point in time.

Recent my co-worker Nathan R Elson, wrote a blog about the decision parallax. (I’ll be the first to admit I had to look up the word parallax!) I really dig the practical aspect of understanding how to make a decision that helps short circuits procrastination and allows forward movement.

Question 1: Ask will the project be derailed if I don’t have an answer to this right now? This determines priority and urgency. Failure to answer this question correctly can mean that you’ll either get stuck because there are too many decisions to make OR that something on the project will be “blowing up” soon.

  • If the answer is yes, the first decision has been made! You’ve decided to decide. Proceed to question 2.
  • If the answer is no, the first decision has been made! You don’t need to decide right now. Because I use a modified version of GTD (Getting Things Done) I ask myself another question (question 1a): will I need to address this at some point? If not, I disregard it unless it comes up again. If yes, I proceed to question 2.

Question 2: Ask can/may I make this decision? This determine whether I am allowed to and whether I have the information necessary to make an effective decision.

If I previously answered question 1 with “yes, my project will be derailed if I don’t get an answer right now”, then the answer to question 2 prompts these actions:

  • “Yes, I can make this decision” = make it and move forward without procrastinating.
  • “I’m allowed to but I don’t have enough information” = seek out the input that is missing and then make the decision and move forward without procrastinating.
  • “I don’t know if I’m allowed to make this decision” = ask someone who has the authority to decide whether I can make the decision or not. This is different from asking them to make the decision. Don’t procrastinate on asking them.
    Some people I know rarely landing here because they prefer to “ask for forgiveness later”. I default to thinking I don’t have permission, so I include this option for “ask for permission first” people like me.
  • “No, I’m not allowed to make this decision” = ask the person who can make the decision to make a decision and follow-up until you get one.

If I previously answered question 1 with “no, my project won’t derail if I don’t get an answer now” and question 1a with “yes, I’ll need to address this at some point in the future”, then the answer to question 2 prompts these actions:

  • “Yes, I can make this decision” = I put it on my to do list with a due date so I don’t have to think about it until my system reminds me.
  • “I don’t know,” “I don’t have enough information” or “No, I can’t make this decision”: I add this to my list of follow-up items for an individual person.
decisionflowandgtd

Decision-making flow chart + my version of the GTD system.

To do lists

Yes, I have an epic list of future items that will need to be decided. I use Wunderlist to keep them organized.

Follow-up Items

There are decision makers that I always have a long list of items for. Over time I’ve worked out a system that works for me and for the individual decisions makers. For example:

  • With my boss, every week we have an hour meeting. Beforehand I send him my complete list of open items (with high priority ones highlighted) along with my weekly update. This list is probably 2-4 pages long and we’ve worked out a system that allows us to get through most of them in 30-40 minutes.
  • With directors and executives, I schedule 15 or 30 minute working meetings whenever items on their list get urgent enough to need their input. I rarely send them my entire list of open items.